My mother passed away when I was nine years old, after a long illness  which kept her in the hospital for three years.  I have seen pictures of  her from when I was a toddler, and she never looked well.  I suspect  that life weighed heavily on her; bearing and raising six children took  it’s toll on her frail frame, and when financial difficulties arose they  cast black clouds of uncertainty on an already uncertain endeavour.  
She was not very stable physically when I was a child.  One day when I  was four we stepped out the side door of the house into the garage,  presumably to get some potatoes for supper.  The landing outside the  door was about eight steps higher than the concrete floor of the garage,  and it had a wrought-iron railing attached.  My safety-conscious mom  was leaning on this railing as we descended the stairs, as was I.  The  railing gave way suddenly, and both of us tumbled headlong onto the  garage floor from a few feet up. Mom lit, I am told, on a garbage can  full of potatoes; I lit on my head on the floor and cracked my skull.  I  remember having a terrible headache, sitting in bed and waiting for dad  to come home, since mom couldn‘t drive. When he arrived, he took me  into town to the hospital to get me checked out, and I had to stay in  the hospital for a couple days.  
My mother trusted in Jesus, and I am sure she must have taught us  kids  to do so as well.  But I think her life was still a fearful place to  her.  Never having learned how to drive, she often left dad in a bind,  needing another driver and having none.  I remember an incident when dad  had loaned a tractor to a neighbor a couple miles from home, and it was  time to pick it up.  Little kids could not be left at home alone, or  perhaps dad knew we would need to offer moral support, so several of us  got in the van and drove to the neighbor’s farm.
“But how will we get home?” mom asked dad.  
“You are going to drive home.” said he.  “I have to drive the tractor.”
Much protesting ensued, but dad won out.  I remember his instructions to  her, to keep both hands on the steering wheel, and to drive right down  the middle of the gravel road, to watch for traffic on the two corners  she would have to make.  I remember that Dad drove the tractor ahead of  us and we followed, with mom’s white knuckles gripping the wheel like it  was some wild thing…
 
 
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